So I’m reading with my son. The Lost Hero by Riordan andthe name Jason keeps sounding like Jackson. Then we get to a word I am certain he is going to trip over. It escapes his lips effortlessly, pronounced superbly. So much so that I had to pause and give him a high five.
Walking in Forest Hills with my 4 year old she is admiring the large buildings. So she asks me, “Do you know what the largest building is?” Wanting to hear her answer I say no, tell me. She says after a moment of thought – ” The Earth.” Then she pauses again and says ” No, space, space is the biggest building ever!” I had to agree.
On my window sill beside my desk I have no less than ten books on writing your first novel. This is not including the numerous articles I have on my hard drives. Included in this list are a few must haves – Strunk and White- Elements of Style travels with me everywhere. so does Stephen King-On Writing. The others while good reads- (and think about this, being a writer reading about writing has to be the epitome of procrastination) did not really further my writing or prompt me to write any faster. Now don’t misunderstand, I am all for learning and honing our craft of word smithing. Many times that takes reading and learning and studying. However the best way I have found to get better at writing is-writing. So why do I have ten books on writing staring at me everyday? Well I bought those books before my first book was published and it was really a way to feel like I was progressing in my book without actually having to write. In other words it was busy work, but not real work. Very similar to shifting those papers around from one side of the desk to another but not really doing anything about them.
So here is my advice: Just write it- already.
You want to become better as a writer you have to write, a lot.
You want to become a published writer? It wont happen just thinking about it, only you can write your story.
By all means hone your craft, learn as much as possible. Read the books on writing, get the style guides. Just understand that at the end of the day none of that can replace your voice on a page.
writers write
Orlando
We live in a culture of strength. Everywhere you look strength is lauded. Its in our societal thought space “Only the strong survive” is an unspoken accepted “truth.” In this month of resolutions most of the ads are geared towards get fit, get healthy. Underlying that is… be strong. I am reminded of the ads in the comic books when I was younger. Where Charles Atlas would help the 98lb weakling become a paragon of strength. No I’m not really that old but I used to collect very old comics.
We have a tendency to shun weakness, real or perceived.
So the real question is- What is strength? Webster states that strength is:the quality or state of being strong, capacity for exertion or endurance, the power to resist force, power of resisting attack. Is this really strength?
In the dojo there are several manifestations of strength. The strength to crank out numerous push ups is one. The strength to hit the makiwara over and over never wavering is another. How about the strength to come to class when every cell in your body is telling you to stay home? The strength to face that senior who is going to hit you. The strength to face that junior you have to hit? The strength to drill kata over and over until it is hardwired into your body and you are physically and mentally exhausted. These may not be the socially accepted definitions of strength but they are examples of it nonetheless.
You see its not all about physical strength. What happens when you become older and physical strength is no longer a factor? Or when you are the senior (in age and rank) facing that 18-20 yr old at the height of his physical prowess? It is as these times that we must have the strength not to use strength. For while being physically strong is certainly an asset, In training it is not the goal but rather a side effect.
The strength that is required in the dojo is more holistic. You need to be strong in every aspect of your being not just physically. I have faced behemoths that towered over me and handled them with relative ease because of their dependency on physical strength. Likewise I have faced my Shihan who weighs in at about 128 lbs and stands an entire five feet two inches and have been dismantled by him on a regular basis. So its not the physicality of strength. Mental fortitude is as important as physical strength. Precise techniques give that physical strength a vehicle for expression. Spiritual strength underlies it all.
So the next time you view someone as weak, take a moment to truly evaluate if that person is weak. If it is in the dojo it may be that they are so strong that they appear to be weak, for only the truly strong can be gentle.
Outside the dojo the same applies. Those who are truly strong may not appear to be so at first glance- look again.
strong spirit-strong mind-strong body
Sensei Orlando
If you spend any amount of time in the dojo you will eventually hear me say-” this is a safe space.” Why do I say this? Because lurking in the corners is fear. One of the first fears encountered in the dojo is the fear of being criticized by your peers. This is only natural since you are usually in a group setting and when you enter your natural inclination is to think that everyone is looking at you and your faults. Over the course of time you realize that your ego was incorrect and everyone is not looking at you ( for many its is a watershed moment) and that everyone is focused on their own progress, not yours.
Then there is the fear of letting go, of surrender. We all walk into the dojo with preconceived ideas, we also carry with us-insecurity, doubt, anger, unresolved self esteem issues, extra portions of ego and bravado, and for some an overestimated concept of our own intelligence. This is baggage that we carry around the dojo, making our training and life harder. Yet however hard it is to carry that extra weight around it is very scary to let go of it because the weight is comforting. It is a known quantity- something we can refer back to, it is security and so we are loathe to release it. The alternative, surrender and release is frightening to contemplate. In order to progress however, we must lose the baggage. For some we lose it all at once, for others its a slower process each piece a battle hard fought. Eventually you must surrender, the training and your growth demand it. It is implacable and infinitely patient.
Another fear encountered is the fear of being hit. This is by no means a sequential list. So each of these fears can appear at any time and usually arrive when you least expect them or want them to surface. Fear of being hit is very debilitating for many people. Many people embark on the study of a martial art because they feel powerless and want to learn to defend themselves. Some have been abused as children or adults and feel that learning a martial art will help them overcome their history. While you may learn about techniques by reading about them or even discussing them, in order to really learn them, you must do them. Spending years striking air will not prepare you for the first time you make contact, likewise walking through prearranged fighting drill will not prepare you for a free form sparring session. Free form sparring will not prepare you for prevailing on the street.
Together with this fear is the fear of getting hurt or having something broken. None of us likes to be hurt, much less go through the breaking of bones or tearing of muscles. It doesn’t sound pleasant and its not pleasant to experience. We have students that come from schools where breaking something in every class was considered normal. I don’t consider this to be the norm and it is something to be avoided wherever possible. This is not to say it will not happen, whenever you have contact the possibility of something breaking is there. We do try to minimize it wherever possible.
So how to deal with these fears? Each person is different. As an instructor you have to assess what each person is dealing with and when. This is where the safe space comment comes from. It is not just a nice thing to say to assuage fears. You have to create a safe space for the students to go as hard or easy as they wish. Some will have little or no fear and will want to push themselves to the limit and beyond- and it should be available to them. Likewise some will want to take a slower and more cautious pace- this too needs to be available without recrimination. Underlying it all is the presence of a space that is safe to experiment, learn and make mistakes exists and is encouraged not only by the sensei of the school but by every student in the school regardless of rank.
Fear will always be a part of the dojo, of training. Rather than being a negative influence, its presence can spur us to greater mastery. The key is acknowledging that it exists and surpassing its influence over our thoughts and actions. That is one of the primary roles of a good instructor.
strong spirit-strong mind-strong body
Sensei Orlando
Fear of success, fear of failure. Fear of rejection, fear of acceptance. Fear of seeming to be a fraud. Fear of not being a “real” writer-whatever that means. Fear of not being creative enough, fear of being stuck. Fear of the dreaded writers block. The all time most surreptitious form of fear -procrastination. I’m sure there are many other fears I haven’t touched upon or mentioned in the above list. We all have had some kind of fear associated with our writing.
Whatever guise it comes under, fear is very real and if allowed, will stop us from writing. So how do we combat this ? First of all lets admit that it exists. Secondly you must discipline yourself to act in spite of the fear. I sat on my first manuscript for a year because of fear, fear of actually being accepted and consequently having to followup that first novel with another. Really? Yes really. I overcame this by asking myself if this was a path I really wanted to pursue. Did I really want to write? Would I write even if no one read my books? Would I write if everyone read my books? Would I write if everyone read my books and hated them?
After giving it much thought (and answering yes to all the questions) I plunged into my writing despite the fear I may have felt. For me that was the key, taking the action. Putting the words on the page day after day. I think writers as a rule are a hardy lot, we learn early on to deal with rejection ( especially if we seek the traditional route of agent-publisher). We are thick skinned out of necessity. Yet beneath it all we are artists, honing our craft, constantly polishing.
At our core we are storytellers and that requires a type of sensitivity and vulnerability. That is the side of ourselves we must protect and nurture. Not by building impenetrable fortresses that stifle our creative voice, and keep others at bay. It doesn’t work anyway. We cant isolate ourselves and expect to have a vibrant life. Isolation only serves to truncate our voice and is another manifestation of fear. No, the only way to deal with the spectre of fear(which never entirely disappears), the paralyzing, breath stealing effect of it- is to dive headfirst into life. Experience life to its fullest, face fear and write anyway. Your writing will be better for it, I promise. Id be curious to hear how you face your fear, let me know.
writers write
Orlando
When I started this blog it was basically a place to put down thoughts that were pertinent to me and my journey through life and the martial arts. I didn’t write with the idea of an audience in mind. It just felt important to put those thoughts out there, here, in case someone-anyone might need them.
What I didn’t realize then is that I was dropping pebbles into a pond, creating ripples. Let me clarify. Each of our lives, every one of us is like a pond. Some of us have expansive ponds some have very small ponds and some, well some have puddles. However in each of these bodies of water(lives), if you drop a pebble you will get ripples. Its interesting to note that the expansiveness of the ripples-how far they travel, are a direct result of the depth of the body of water. In other words a shallow puddle wont have many ripples whereas a deep lake will. It is also dependent on the size of the pebble if I drop a small stone I will get a few ripples, if I drop a boulder- well you get the idea.
This ripple effect is important because the further the ripples travel denote the depth of your life and actions. So back to the blog. I started this blog as sounding board for thoughts, observations and the sharing of the philosophy of martial arts as it pertains to my journey. Over the course of time it has been read in some very far flung places around the world.
I had no idea the ripples were travelling out that far.
Here is an example of what I mean. A few weeks ago we were visited in the dojo by a young man ( Brian- the white belt in the picture) who was looking into his academic studies here in the states. We get visitors often, some train with us, others want to observe. What made this visitor different was that he was visiting us because he had read this blog- in Australia. Upon coming to the U.S. he requested to visit and train with us, which of course I agreed to. Here he is with me and some senpai after a class.
So what do I want you take away with this example? Well lets look at it for a moment. Had I not been writing this blog, Brian would never had known about our school. He would have visited the U.S. but we would have never met. Our lives would have never intersected. Even though the time was brief we are both richer for having met each other.
How many chance encounters, windows of opportunity have you missed?
You many never know. Start taking action in your life and make it as deep as possible. Don’t become comfortable in a puddle, look to swim deep.
One of the greatest examples of this in my life are my children. I look at them as the embodiment of a confluence of events that drove two people to meet and participate in the miracle of life. I know it sounds clinical, its not the only way I see them (I love them all immensely), but it is evident to me that they too are my ripples in life.
When you make your life deep you will have many ripples, many people will be touched by your actions, your words and even your presence. Strive to make your life deep.Make your pond expansive and profound. Let your life touch as many people as possible. You will never know the true extent of the ripple effect in your life and in the lives of those you touch, but I can guarantee you that your life will be richer for it.
strong spirit-strong mind-strong body
Sensei Orlando
I want to thank Jan(one of our parents) for the idea for this post.
One of the largest groups in our school are children. Invariably, as instructors, when we think of children we have a tendency to disconnect them from their parents. Possibly because we only deal with the children in the class, or we only see the parents fleetingly as they drop the kids off for class. However, we must maintain the bond that exists between parent and child, even in the context of training. Especially in the context of training. When a child becomes part of a dojo family, it is not just that child that is or should be welcomed. The parents as well must understand what it means to be part of a dojo. They are the ones responsible for making sure the child arrives on time in a clean and neat gi.
The precepts and values that the child learns in the dojo should be reinforced in the home. Things like courtesy, respect, integrity, caring for others,discipline, perseverance and humility are but a few of the values taught and shared in a dojo setting. It does not serve the child if these qualities are being taught in the dojo, and not in the home.
Parents must and should make an effort to be involved in the training to the greatest extent possible. Some schools even offer a Parent and child class where the parent and the child can train simultaneously. Parents should take advantage of this if its offered. Occasionally we get parents who want to “parent” from waiting area. It is one of the reasons many traditional schools do not have a “waiting area”. Martial arts is not meant to be an activity that is watched it is meant to be done.
I have had to have many conversations with parents who feel their child should be doing better, even to the extent that they will try to correct their child in the midst of class. There are reasons why we as parents should refrain from this:
It sends mixed signals. In the mind of the child if the parent comes into the class to correct them there is confusion. Unless the parent is the instructor, it is an undermining of authority of the instructor. The message the child receives is that I can behave or do whatever I want until Mom or Dad say something. I don’t need to listen to the Sensei or instructor.
It disrupts the flow of the class. The instructor may be planning an activity with the children and the interruption throws off the rhythm if the class.
It is viewed as bad etiquette. I would not presume to interrupt a surgeon as he was about to perform surgery. Or any other professional for that matter. Most reputable instructors have many years of study accumulated. Many of the sensei I know have been teaching for three decades or more. Even if you are a martial artist with many years of training it is still seen as bad form to enter a class and begin to offer pointers or corrections.
It can embarrass the child. Being called out before his or her peers is not a pleasant experience for the child and can remove any desire for training.
It displays a lack of trust. When you enroll your child in a school, the implicit statement being made is that I trust this school, these instructors. Acting in any other way dissolves that trust.
These behaviors are usually exhibited by fathers more than mothers. We want our boys to be strong and our girls to be fierce. We look from the sides and usually give the “eye” if we perceive them to be misbehaving or not performing up to what we consider par. Mothers on the other hand usually want to “rescue” the child.
As fathers we can be uncompromising. I speak from experience being that four of my children currently train in our home dojo and visit another dojo where I am not the instructor but just a “parent”. I can see myself slipping into the role of super dad and have to occasionally check myself. Its not easy, its your child after all.
These are descriptions done in broad strokes and obviously there are exceptions in both genders. The key is to find out what the code of etiquette is for your school and adhere to it. Support your child in his or her studies in the arts. Reinforce the values they are learning, lead by example and I can assure you that the transformation will amaze you.
strong spirit-strong mind-strong body
Sensei Orlando
Recently (as in the last year or so) I took to writing in a starbux as I have mentioned in earlier posts. I have discovered however that I would like to have a space to write. Not because starbux is prohibitive. I really enjoy writing there and they don’t harass you
(for what they charge for a grande white mocha they better not). It has more to do with creating a place that allows you to enter a creative space easily. Now initially I thought this should be an actual physical space-you know the scenario closed door, do not disturb sign on said door, two handmaidens standing behind you as you write, with palm leaves slowly creating a soft breeze while a third is on standby to give you a neck massage at a moments notice. In the background there is perfect ambient music stimulating creativity with every note. Just me? Possibly, but I digress. So after the idea of a physical space passed I thought how does this idea fit in with my concept of a Guerilla Writing(I know there is a book there somewhere)? If I want to be able to write anywhere how do I create this space that allows me to be creative anywhere? How do I establish a creative oasis that I can enter whenever and wherever?
And so this is the challenge. My first attempts have been just to sit in meditation for 15 minutes a day. I find it clears my brain of stray thoughts that are potential roadblocks to writing freely. I also write with music playing(usually headphones) and this creates a kind of sound bubble when I write. It also engages my brain to such a degree that I am writing and my brain thinks its listening to music. I find the music helps because my writing process is very visual and so the music becomes a type of soundtrack to my writing. Can I write without music? Yes, but its not as fun or free for me. Sometimes there is no choice (some words demand to be written NOW), but usually I always have my Ipod at the ready.
So how do you do it ? I would like to hear from fellow writers how you enter the creative space. Are you always there? Do you have rituals? Is it easy or torture? Do the planets have to align or is it just sitting in front of your computer or notebook?
writers write,
Orlando
