Category Archives: philosophy

Going deeper in your practice

I have taken a short hiatus because I was in contemplation of what my practice meant to me. You may be wondering why after almost  three decades of training would I need to contemplate my practice. Am I not certain of what I have devoted so much time to? Is something still unclear? Aside from the teachings-all of which gently ( and not so gently) coax me to live in the eternal now and not to be concerned with past or future. This presents me with a unique position. Even though I strive to be in the present, am I not the sum of my past history especially in regard to my training on the martial path?

It was this train of thought that led me to pursue the question of what my practice meant to me. What did it mean to go deeper in my practice, was it even possible to go deeper? Were there any depths to be plumbed? I am a firm believer in continually studying especially when it comes to being on a martial path. I have said it before-we are on a summit-less mountain, therefore we never arrive, we never achieve complete mastery. There is always more polishing to be done, always.

With this in mind I began to delve into what may considered reaching a pinnacle in any given path. I wondered if it was becoming a tournament champion. While I no longer participate in tournaments, I do not disparage them. They serve a purpose, albeit a narrow one, in my perspective. Many practitioners feel fulfilled competing in tournaments, for me personally it has always felt hollow. I also feel that if you need external validation of who you are as a martial practitioner then ego may be at work, which really has no place on the path.

What about becoming an accomplished fighter? When you examine this aspect of a martial path, especially in our current times it is possible that the martial aspect of what we do can get overlooked or ignored completely. Certainly it is useful to have the skills of fighting, however if you are in a situation that has degenerated to physical violence it is my belief that you have failed in your training in that moment. Fighting very rarely solves  a situation and usually exacerbates it. Real fighting that occurs in a street setting, where there are no rules is a chaotic, messy, more often than not bloody thing. Its also very very fast. Faster than most who have been dojo trained are prepared to deal with.

So then what does it mean to go deeper? What is it that must be pursued to facilitate this depth? How do I accomplish attaining a deeper level to my practice, if its even possible? Well I can only answer for my path even though I put these thoughts here for you to view and spur you to consider your path and practice. We each walk our own path. I will tell you what I have learned for my practice.

The first paradox that I encountered was that in order to go deeper in my practice I had to completely forget about myself. On occasion we get so wrapped up in ourselves that we forget that our purpose is to give of ourselves, our time, our knowledge. The more you give of you, the more there will be to give. When you are doing these things, you have little time to contemplate yourself.

I next discovered that kata and its practice is the foundation to excellence, notice I didn’t say perfection.. I know this may sound like an oversimplification and yet it really is that simple. Practice your kata, embody them, meditate with them. They are the underpinning of everything your art is comprised of.

Once I saw that- the next thing I saw was that I needed to be compassionate and gentle. When I was younger I would scoff and those who would advise me to be gentle, not understanding the wisdom in those words. I felt that if I was strong I needed to demonstrate it and make sure it was known I was strong. Ego in its highest form. It took me many years and many difficult lessons to learn that only those who are truly strong can be gentle. Having compassion showed me to view life from others eyes. Putting myself in the position of others allowed me the perspective to see with empathy.

I am still learning everyday. Each day I have the choice as to how I will be. It is a choice despite what many will say. We choose to be the way we are. We choose our responses to life. Life simply is. We add or subtract the meaning.

What will your choice be each day?

strong spirit-strong mind-strong body
Sensei Orlando

What does Uke mean?

The primary role of blocking is not mere parrying, it goes beyond that. In fact when one executes a real block it marks the beginning of a counter attack. If properly done the block nullifies the opponents attack for a short span of time that might be very short, but it is long enough for a counter attack.” – Kenji Tokitsu Author of  The Inner Art of Karate.

In martial arts the root  term uke is usually referred to the person receiving a technique. In karate it ukete, in kendo ukedachi. In judo it is uke and in grappling arts it can be referred to as ukemi. Each of these variations convey the same general idea of receiving a technique. It is not an exercise of force being met with force but rather a redirection of force.

Once this concept is understood it completely transforms your training. You are not training to see if you can shatter an incoming technique, but rather flow with the energy that is being directed towards you, using it to your advantage. You are not just a passive participant in the exchange. Together with this concept of uke a student must learn what maai (distance) means and the importance of timing. In order to redirect incoming force your timing must be impeccable, this is only learned with constant practice.

When advanced students engage in kumite or the exchange of techniques, this ability can be seen. It seems effortless and it usually is. The difference is stark when a less experienced student interacts with an advanced student. The junior can be seen to expend large amounts of energy and use much effort, while the senior appears to be using very little to none.

Initially these techniques are taught as “blocks” because it is easier to understand. However, as the student progresses they will hear comments like “there are no blocks” or  “that technique is not really a block.” If the student continues training they will discover that the techniques they have been practicing for years have different applications, that a parry is actually the inception of a counter, not and end in and of itself.

This transformation takes time. It takes time to learn the cadence and rhythm of dynamic interactions. It also takes time to become proficient at understanding the concept of distance and how it pertains to an effective uke. The benefit is that if the student perseveres long enough all of these techniques begin to unfold in their complexity, providing a deeper understanding of what it means when it is said “there is no first strike”.

A vivid example of the power of “blocks” was Mas Oyama , the founder of Kyokushin karate. It was  recorded on several occasions that those who would engage in kumite with  him did so at their peril. His “blocks” were so powerful that he did not need to punch and kick.
 It is a level of technique we can all aspire to.

strong spirit-strong mind-strong body
Sensei Orlando

Fighting – Sparring and Combat

I took a brief break from blogging to catch up on my reading and writing. I am in the middle of rereading Scaling Force by Miller and Kane. This was part of series for me that started with  The Little Black Book of Violence, by Lawrence Kane and Kris Wilder. Followed by The gift of Fear, by Gavin de Becker and culminated by Scaling Force. I recommend getting all of the above and studying them, repeatedly.

Why reread these books and books like them?
First a little background: I was born and raised in the streets of the South Bronx in NYC. In the process of my growing, despite having a very strong parental influence I knew what it was to join and be in gangs. In my life I faced pipes, clubs, bottles, knives and the barrel of a gun several times. I know what it is to be in a fight one on one, the chaos of two armed mobs fighting and being in a situation when you are outnumbered. I don’t share this as a badge of honor, it was and is a stupid path to pursue, grounded in a false sense of pride and ego that usually sends you to an early grave. I share it because it gives me insight into what the differences are between sparring and combat. I wont go into the military aspects of combat, because I have never been in the military (although I have family who have served with distinction) and so I cant give that perspective. I want to approach this from the perspective of street violence. Which is what we are most likely to encounter.

In our school we have the poster you see above hanging on one of our walls. In fact I have seen the same wall chart of striking points in several schools. Its so pervasive that it has become part of the scenery, no one really asks about it and its just accepted as part of the decor. If you stop a moment and take time to examine the wall chart  you will see that the points it shows can be quite devastating if struck with force. The points are not often taught in a regular class even though most of them are contained in the kata in most styles of the striking arts.

 This is the case with sparring and fighting. Most schools teaching fighting are actually teaching sparring, there  is protective gear and points and places on the body that are off-limits. All of this is good and has its place. I like to send students home intact without visits to the hospital or broken and dislocated parts. The danger lies when this is all that is taught, or is taught as combat. At some point the student must be taken to the other side of fighting, which is combat. There are no rules in combat. No one is going to wait while you don gear and get yourself mentally ready. No one is going to step in and break you up if it gets too rough. There are no rounds and  no points. When you are in this context survival is the goal.

This is not to discount the legality of this type of encounter. There are and can be severe legal penalties for causing damage and breaking a person when that level of force was not required. Which is why awareness is paramount. The concept of scaling force is also indispensable to meeting violence with the appropriate  response. I always tell my students- if you have to get physical, you weren’t paying attention and your defense failed. The legal ramifications are so involved that a book would be required to do the subject justice, see the above titles for a good start.

So how do we reconcile these concepts of sparring and combat? Sparring is a tool to introduce concepts and principles. It is a safe, controlled environment that allows for mistakes. It is a laboratory of sorts, where you can explore and ask and try out techniques. The stakes, if there are any are low.

Combat / Fighting is almost the exact opposite of sparring. It is not safe or controlled. It is chaotic, fast, sloppy and messy. It sends your body through a hormone cocktail that you will not be able to control. Mistakes usually result in serious bodily harm or death-the stakes are high, sometimes the highest.

If you find yourself in a school or self defense class that does not make this distinction, do your research ask questions of the instructor and find out the strategies and tactics of the style you are currently engaged in and how it would deal with violence in an uncontrolled situation.

I recently had to revise the way one of my students was sparring. The method she was learning was a formal sparring method, which she was struggling with. When that was changed to a no rules type of fighting, this works on the street method, her ability and understanding shifted and improved considerably.

Both have their place in training and your life, just remember to know the  difference between the two.

strong spirit-strong mind-strong body,
Sensei Orlando

The Purpose of Rank

This blog is a continuation of the previous one about respect, if you haven’t read that one, please do, it will give you insight into this one.

In our school we promote slowly. Its not because we don’t like to promote, but rather because we as a school believe in focusing on foundations and not rushing to a rank. After all what would you be rushing to? There is no “end” to rush to. To give you an idea of how slowly we promote-I have currently held my rank since 1999. It never entered my mind to consider my next rank (OK, it has entered it once or twice) but never to actively pursue it. Its not my place to award myself rank, just like I didn’t award myself the rank I now have. So after much thinking I started wondering what was the purpose of rank?

The system of ranking isn’t very old compared to martial arts. The first shodans Shiro Saigo and Tsunejiro Tomita were recognized in 1883 by Kano. Even then there weren’t obi or belts. The actual belts didn’t arrive until much later. The first delineation was made in 1886 when Kano had his seniors(yudansha) wear black obi over their kimonos. In 1907 Kano introduced the judogi and the obi we see today, yet even then there were only black belts and white belts. The first karateka awarded  the shodan rank by Funakoshi were Tokuda, Otsuka, Akiba, Shimizu, Hirose, Gima, and Kasuya on April 10th 1924.

The hierarchy of belts was established to represent a progression of learning with a syllabus and a corresponding grade indicating an individual’s level of proficiency. Achieving shodan is like graduating from high school or university- It indicates that you have achieved a fundamental level of skill, learned the basic techniques and can execute them in a functional way. It means you are now prepared to pursue your art on a more serious and advanced level.

So rank at its inception was just a means to indicate how much you knew and that at a certain level you should be able to execute certain techniques. It can also mean that I have been on the path longer than you have, but remember that can be deceptive since not everyone  progresses at the same rate.

So if that is all rank is for, a shorthand for instructors to determine the level of skill of the students, when did it become a situation of being a black belt is better than being  brown belt  or any other rank?

 I think the moment ego enters into the equation, that is when the comparisons start to occur. This is a danger that every school and student must be wary of. The moment I begin to believe that I am better than another student simply by the fact of my rank, I have stopped growing and learning. I become a danger to myself and my fellow students as arrogance becomes part of my practice.

Another point worth mentioning is- Is my rank static? If I decide to  neglect my practice of  the material that is required of my rank, to the degree that I no longer can execute the techniques required of me with proficiency, should I still be considered the rank I am? That is a topic for another post.

So the belt, sash, rope you are wearing -while you have worked for it, sweat for it and in some cases bled for it, remember its just a piece of material that keeps your uniform closed. Its not the rank that makes the person, but rather the person that makes the rank.

strong spirit-strong mind-strong body

Sensei Orlando

Is respect automatic?

Feeling deep admiration for someone or something, elicited by their abilities, qualities or achievements. That is the definition of respect. The submission or courteous yielding to the opinion,wishes or judgement of another is deference. This is the attitude expected in most dojos. My question is should it be automatic?

Within the context of your chosen path should you automatically respect those who have come before you or should you scrutinize who they are, not only as martial artists but as people? If I have more stripes on my belt does that mean that I should expect deference from those who may not have as many stripes?  It is, I admit a complex situation and yet also simple. It is complex because there are several variables at play. It is simple because at its essence it comes down to- respect must be earned, in and outside of the dojo.

Granted, in each dojo there are rules of etiquette that should be followed, rules that were established to promote order  and to keep us present to the fact that we are embarking upon the study of an art that can and is dangerous. I am not advocating disregarding these norms of etiquette. However it has been my experience that within the higher ranks the respect and deference seems to flow one way. The seniors may expect this behavior towards them, but it is rarely demonstrated by the seniors towards their juniors. I recently witnessed this behavior in action.

 A shodan was having a conversation with a fourth degree instructor when another fourth degree student interrupted the conversation stating that he needed to discuss something of import with said fourth degree. This incident made me think, how would have that fourth degree reacted if the roles were reversed?  If the two fourth degrees were in conversation and the first degree needed to speak with one of them would an interruption be tolerated?  My other thought was, that by stating that he needed to discuss something  important he was implying that whatever was being discussed currently was not as important as what he had to say.

Now this may or may not have been true, but the act denotes a certain level of arrogance. Where is the respect? Does a first degree merit less respect than a fourth degree? Does a white belt deserve less respect than a black belt? When we realize that ranks and stripes are all artificial ( a statement which I’m sure will throw many high level sensei, shihan, kyoshi and hanshis into an uproar) and that what matters is the person wearing the belt, not the belt itself, then we will be able to relate to each other as fellow students along the way.

When seniors treat juniors with respect regardless of rank, then arrogance cannot have a foothold in the dojo or their life. This is when respect becomes mutual, deference natural and humility a way of life.

A return to basics

January is our month of Kagami Baraki. For those unfamiliar with the concept it comes from the Japanese tradition of celebrating weddings, opening days or any event worthy of being celebrated. In a dojo it is usually the start of a new year and it is marked by a day of intense training where everyone comes together to train and sweat together. Our school is slightly different in that we celebrate the entire month of January as our month of Kagami Biraki. Everyone knows the classes are harder, more intense and are comprised of mostly basics-lots and lots of basics.

When I first received my shodan ( first degree) I figured this was it. Now I would finally learn the secret techniques, now all the black belt knowledge would be unveiled, imparting upon me a kind of super human ability to execute my techniques! I walked into my first black belt class full of expectation, I was  ready. Imagine my surprise when the next two hours of training was spent doing basic punches, kicks, and blocks. We even went back and did our first white belt kata over and over. Surely this was a fluke maybe it was just a way to get  the new black belts used to the idea of a black belt class? Next class was more of the same and the class after that and so on. This is not to say that I did not learn advanced techniques, I did.  However  those advanced techniques were usually made up of basic techniques executed in a different way or several basic techniques joined to make one advance technique.

And so our emphasis this month is a return to the basics. We always stress our foundations but this month especially so. In returning to our foundations we can learn several things. We can see how far we have progressed and how far we still have to go. We can deepen our understanding of the art we have chosen to study by looking at its foundation and deconstructing techniques and kata. We can learn the functionality of what we do, why does it work and how. All this comes from going back to the basics. I also learned one other thing, that the higher the rank the more time you spend with basics, its quite the circle that is indicative of the arts we study. You train long and hard, invest many years, tears, blood and sweat-so you can be perpetual beginner.

As an aside, the photo is a picture of Morio Higaonna’s hands. Anyone who trains for any length of time runs into his name and his influence on goju-ryu. Look him up.

strong spirit-strong mind-strong body

Sensei Orlando

The strength not to use strength

We live in a culture of strength. Everywhere you look strength is lauded. Its in our societal thought space  “Only the strong survive”  is an unspoken accepted “truth.” In this month of resolutions most of the ads are geared towards get fit, get healthy. Underlying that is… be strong.  I am reminded of the ads in the comic books when I was younger. Where Charles Atlas would help the 98lb weakling become a paragon of strength. No I’m not really that old but I used to collect very old comics.

We have a tendency to shun weakness, real or perceived.
 So the real question is- What is strength? Webster states that strength is:the quality or state of being strong, capacity for exertion or endurance, the power to resist force, power of resisting attack. Is this really strength? 

In the dojo there are several manifestations of strength. The strength to crank out numerous push ups is one. The strength to hit the makiwara over and over never wavering is another. How about the strength to come to class when every cell in your body is telling you to stay home? The strength to face that senior who is going to hit you. The strength to face that junior you have to hit? The strength to drill kata over and over until it is hardwired into your body and you are physically and mentally exhausted. These may not be the socially accepted definitions of strength but they are examples of it nonetheless.

You see its not all about physical strength. What happens when you become older and physical strength is no longer a factor? Or when you are the senior (in age and rank) facing that 18-20 yr old at the height of his physical prowess? It is as these times that we must have the strength not to use strength.  For while being physically strong is certainly an asset, In training it is not the goal but rather a side effect.

The strength that is required in the dojo is more holistic. You need to be strong in every aspect of your being not just physically. I have faced behemoths that towered over me and handled them with relative ease because of their dependency on physical strength. Likewise I have faced my Shihan who weighs in at about 128 lbs and stands an entire five feet two inches and have been dismantled by him on a regular basis. So its not the physicality of strength. Mental fortitude is as important as physical strength. Precise techniques give that physical strength a vehicle for expression. Spiritual strength underlies it all.

So the next time you view someone as weak, take a moment to truly evaluate if that person is weak. If it is in the dojo it may be that they are so strong that they appear to be weak, for only the truly strong can be gentle.  
Outside the dojo the same applies. Those who are truly strong may not appear to be so at first glance- look again.

strong spirit-strong mind-strong body

Sensei Orlando

Fear in the Dojo

If you spend any amount of time in the dojo you will eventually hear me say-” this is a safe space.” Why do I say this? Because lurking in the corners is fear.  One of the first fears encountered in the dojo is the fear of being criticized by your peers. This is only natural since you are usually in a group setting and when you enter your natural inclination is to think that everyone is looking at you and your faults. Over the course of time you realize that your ego was incorrect and everyone is not looking at you ( for many its is a watershed moment) and that everyone is focused on their own progress, not yours.

Then there is the fear of letting go, of surrender. We all walk into the dojo with preconceived ideas, we also carry with us-insecurity, doubt, anger, unresolved self esteem issues, extra portions of ego and bravado, and for some an overestimated concept of our own intelligence. This is baggage that we carry around the dojo, making our training and life harder. Yet however hard it is to carry that extra weight around it is very scary to let go of it because  the weight is comforting. It is a known quantity- something we can refer back to, it is security and so we are loathe to release it. The alternative, surrender and release is frightening to contemplate. In order to progress however, we must lose the baggage. For some we lose it all at once, for others its a slower process each piece a battle hard fought. Eventually you must surrender, the training and your growth demand it. It is implacable and infinitely patient.

Another fear encountered is the fear of being hit. This is by no means a sequential list. So each of these fears can appear at any time and usually arrive when you least expect them  or want them to surface. Fear of being  hit is very debilitating for many people. Many people embark on the study of a martial art because they feel powerless and want to learn to defend themselves. Some have been abused as children or adults and feel that learning a martial art will help them overcome their history. While you may learn about techniques by reading  about them or even discussing them, in order to really learn them, you must do them. Spending years striking air will not prepare you for the first time you make contact, likewise walking through prearranged fighting drill will not prepare you for a free form sparring session. Free form sparring will not prepare you for prevailing  on the street.
 Together with this fear is the fear of getting hurt or having something broken. None of us likes to be hurt, much less go through the breaking of bones or tearing of muscles. It doesn’t sound pleasant and its not pleasant to experience. We have students that come from schools where breaking something in every class was considered normal. I don’t consider this to be the norm and it is something to be avoided wherever possible. This is not to say it will not happen, whenever you have contact the possibility of something breaking is there. We do try to minimize it wherever possible.

So how to deal with these fears?  Each person is different. As an instructor you have to assess what each person is dealing with and when. This is where the safe space comment comes from. It is not just a nice thing to say to assuage fears. You have to create a safe space for the students to go as hard or easy as they wish.  Some will have  little or no fear and will want to push themselves to the limit and beyond- and it should be available to them. Likewise some will want to take a slower and more cautious pace- this too needs to be available without recrimination. Underlying it all is the presence of a space that is safe to experiment, learn and make mistakes exists and is encouraged not only by the sensei of the school but by every student in the school regardless of rank.

Fear will always be a part of the dojo, of training. Rather than being a negative influence, its presence can spur us to greater mastery. The key is acknowledging that it exists and surpassing its influence over our thoughts and actions. That is one of the primary roles of a good instructor.

strong spirit-strong mind-strong body

Sensei Orlando

The ripples of your pond

When I started this blog it was basically a place to put down thoughts that were pertinent to me and my journey through life and the martial arts. I didn’t write with the idea of an audience in mind. It just felt important to put those thoughts out there, here, in case someone-anyone might need them.

What I didn’t realize then is that I was dropping pebbles into a pond, creating ripples. Let me clarify. Each of our lives, every one of us is like a pond. Some of us have expansive ponds some have very small ponds and some, well some have puddles. However in each of these bodies of water(lives), if you drop a pebble you will get ripples. Its interesting to note that the expansiveness of the ripples-how far they travel, are a direct result of the depth of the body of water. In other words a shallow puddle wont have many ripples whereas a deep lake will. It is also dependent on the size of the pebble if I drop a small stone I will get a few ripples, if I drop a boulder- well you get the idea.

This ripple effect is important because the further the ripples travel denote the depth of your life and actions. So back to the blog. I started this blog as sounding board for thoughts, observations and the sharing of the philosophy of martial arts as it pertains to my journey. Over the course of time it has been read in some very far flung places around the world.
I had no idea the ripples were travelling out that far.

Here is an example of what I mean. A few weeks ago we were visited in the dojo by a young man ( Brian- the white belt in the picture) who was looking into his academic studies here in the states. We get visitors often, some train with us, others want to observe. What made this visitor different was that he was visiting us because he had read this blog- in Australia. Upon coming to the U.S. he requested to visit and train with us, which of course I agreed to.  Here he is with me and some senpai after a class.

 So what do I want you take away with this example? Well lets look at it for a moment. Had I not been writing this blog, Brian would never had known about our school. He would have visited the U.S. but we would have never met. Our lives would have never intersected. Even though the time was brief we are both richer for having met each other.

How many chance encounters, windows of opportunity have you missed?
You many never know. Start taking action in your life and make it as deep as possible. Don’t become comfortable in a puddle, look to swim deep.
 One of the greatest examples of this in my life are my children. I look at them as the embodiment of a confluence of events that drove two people to meet and participate in the miracle of life. I know it sounds clinical, its not the only way I see them (I love them all immensely), but it is evident to me that they too are my ripples in life.

When you make your life deep you will have many ripples, many people will be touched by your actions, your words and even your presence. Strive to make your life deep.Make your pond expansive and profound. Let your life touch as many people as possible. You will never know the true extent of the ripple effect in your life and in the lives of  those you touch, but I can guarantee you that your life will be richer for it.

strong spirit-strong mind-strong body

Sensei Orlando

Parents in the Martial Arts

I want to thank Jan(one of our parents) for the idea for this post.

One of the largest groups in our school are children. Invariably, as instructors, when we think of children we have a tendency to disconnect them from their parents. Possibly because we only deal with the children in the class, or we only see the parents fleetingly as they drop the kids off for class. However, we must maintain the bond that exists between parent and child, even in the context of training. Especially in the context of training.  When a child becomes part of a dojo family, it is not just that child that is or should be welcomed. The parents as well must understand what it means to be part of a dojo. They are the ones responsible for making sure the  child arrives on time in a clean and neat gi.

The precepts and values that the child learns in the dojo should be reinforced in the home. Things like courtesy, respect, integrity, caring for others,discipline, perseverance and humility are but a few of the values taught and shared in a dojo setting. It does not serve the child if these qualities are being taught in the dojo, and not in the home.

Parents must and should make an effort to be involved in the training to the greatest extent possible. Some schools even offer a Parent and child class where the parent and the child can train simultaneously. Parents should take advantage of this if its offered. Occasionally we get parents who want to “parent” from waiting area. It is one of the reasons many traditional schools do not have a “waiting area”. Martial arts is not meant to be an activity that is watched it is meant to be done.
I have had to have many conversations with parents who feel their child should be doing better, even to the extent that they will try to correct their child in the midst of class. There are  reasons why we as parents should refrain from this:

It sends mixed signals. In the mind of the child if the parent comes into the class to correct them there is confusion. Unless the parent is the instructor, it is an undermining of authority of the instructor. The message the child receives is that I can behave or do whatever I want until Mom or Dad say something. I don’t need to listen to the Sensei or instructor.
It disrupts the flow of the class. The instructor may be planning an activity with the children and the interruption throws off the rhythm if the class.
It is viewed as bad etiquette. I would not presume to interrupt a surgeon as he was about to perform surgery.  Or any other professional for that matter. Most reputable instructors have many years of study accumulated.  Many of the sensei  I know have been teaching for three decades or more. Even if you are a martial artist with many years of training it is still seen as bad form to enter a class and begin to offer pointers or corrections.
It can embarrass the child. Being called out before his or her peers is not a pleasant experience for the child and can remove any desire for training.
It displays a lack of trust. When you enroll your child in a school, the implicit statement being made is that I trust this school, these instructors. Acting in any other way dissolves that trust.

These behaviors are usually exhibited by fathers more than mothers. We want our boys to be strong and our girls to be fierce. We look from the sides and usually give the “eye” if we perceive them to be misbehaving or not performing up to what we consider par. Mothers on the other hand usually want to “rescue” the child.

As fathers we can be uncompromising. I speak from experience being that four of my children currently train in our home dojo and visit another dojo where I am not the instructor but just a “parent”. I can see myself slipping into the role of super dad and have to occasionally check myself. Its not easy, its your child after all.

These are descriptions done in broad strokes and obviously there are exceptions in both genders. The key is to find out what the code of etiquette is for your school and adhere to it. Support your child in his or her studies in the arts. Reinforce the values they are learning, lead by example and I can assure you that the transformation will amaze you.

strong spirit-strong mind-strong body

Sensei Orlando