My mom passed away a few hours ago. Within I feel a huge void where my heart used to be. She and I, we had a great relationship. There were times when it was war, she could push buttons no one else could, and there were times that were sheer laughter and joy. As I think back there were many more times of joy and laughter than the battles. I have no regrets, except that she could have been around more so I could harass her about showing me her recipes(which she wrote down for me a week ago), give her more hugs, tell her I loved her more(you can never say it enough), and just remind her that I truly and deeply appreciated everything she did for me, and my siblings. It hurts to think on these things, but I felt putting them out here, sharing this part of me would help. I won't say it makes the ache go away, because it doesn't, I think only time can do that. What I will say is that writing about it, sharing it, brings many of the joyful times to mind, and right now, that's enough.

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